The Haunting of December

I've been dreading sitting down to write this song 'Cause I know that when I do it means you're really gone I'm putting it off but it's time I move on I've got so much to say since you tore us apart This is my side of the story straight from my aching heart But since you know the end let's go back to the start We met on a Thursday You smiled in the worst way The first second you laid eyes on me I knew I was done See, I've heard all about you My bestfriend said to look out for you And I promised him I wouldn't fall for you That was lie number one We talked in the back of the car He drove while I memorized who you are And when I spoke you listened intently Like every word was a piece of art As we passed the city I was looking at you I didn't care for the lights cause I had a better view And you said you'd never let me get hurt Well that was lie number two You gave me your sweatshirt the very first night I thought it'd swallow me whole but it fit just right I should've known we were doomed If I thought wearing your clothes meant all of the stars had aligned By the second day we were stuck together like glue If someone couldn't find me they'd go looking for you Cause where you were is where I'd be and that's The irony of how drastically the space between us grew But back then I was naive and You gave me something I belived in I opened up about my trust issues And you made me think you had them too Before you, I was always kept like a secret But you would've screamed it from the rooftops for all to see That I was your girl and you were proud to say so But now knowing what I know that was lie number three You'd interrupt me just to tell me I was pretty It always caught me off guard and I'd forget what I was saying before My cheeks would turn bright red, you'd smile and change the subject And it's sad that looking back I have to ask Was that lie number four? We made so many plans that would never happen But let's not talk about that Let's go back to the magic Cause that's what it was When you chased me down the beach The first time you put your arm around me I melted like a little kid, my heart was pounding When you held me the tightest Was when I felt most free You made me feel special You made me feel safe You made me feel warm It was the first time I ever felt like I was adored I thought there'd be pressure To be the face in a crowd you look for But I loved it and I got used to it And then you got bored But it was so good When it was good Wasn't it? With your hands on my waist You Didn't seem like you could be real We only had a week but in that time I got a taste of How love is supposed to feel On the interstate you held my hand while you were driving Consumed with butterflies I could've sworn that we were flying We sang the songs on my favorite playlist That's why I can't listen to it now Now My favorite coffee shop is painted blue Cause I took you there I can't go to the movies anymore Cause you kissed me there I see your face down every street You left your mark on this town Your last day here You packed up your things You begged me to come with you And I begged you not to leave You wiped my tears As we said our last goodbyes I know that you liked me But not enough to be something you keep Standing on the porch in the cold, You held my face and promised we'd make the distance work Then you kissed me for the last time and now when I Think about your lips on my skin the spots you kissed are to burn When I walked away from you I looked back for a second and all I saw was the Outline of your perfect silhouette I think I somehow knew That when I turned around that would be the last Glimpse of you I'd ever get You cut me deep and I bled How could you forget? All the promises You made as soon as you left At first it all was looking good I stayed up later than I should Cause you were a couple hours behind But you still called me every night Until one day you were stuck in your head And I knew then there was nothing left You said you didn't change your mind it's just Right person, wrong time So I held on to the hope that two star crossed lovers Would find each other Again down the road But then my bestfriend called me and the truth was addressed I sat there speechless He said "I'm sorry but I told you so" While I've been crying myself to sleep every night You've been out at bars, kissing girls, you're perfectly fine I wrapped myself in your sweatshirt on the bathroom floor I guess I'm another victim who fell prey To the beautiful lies laced in the words that you say But you can save your pity for yourself Cause you need it more How does it feel? To know what you've done To the girl who would've loved you with all that she had How does it feel? Does it make you feel sad? Or are you unaffected Cause you left all the remnants of us behind to haunt my mind But you never looked back It would help me sleep to know you feel just a little bad Even after it ended I put on my best armor Cause I believed what we had was worth fighting for You knew the outcome But you still watched me as I marched hopelessly into war I could hate you for letting me lose parts of myself And for leaving me there when I got shot down But it's time I clean my own wounds Wrap them in bandages And pick myself up off the floor I'm just scared that now every December I'll remember you and dig up my past Then I'll relapse and have to suffer through The withdrawals of losing you all over again I close my eyes and I can almost feel you But I know one day Your face will start to fade And your name will just be a name And maybe Just maybe All you'll be is a distant memory by then You built it up so nice, didn't you? Sometimes I wish you'd call But you don't have a reason to Drifting back into strangers is all that's left to do I'm just glad I can finally put this down We've reached the end of the story Sorry I dragged it out I spilled my guts I feel better now