All My Life, If I Had...

If my grandad weren't a alchy, he'd beat his family My nan woulda stayed in Ireland and mum wouldn't have had me You probably think I'm lying if I told you exactly I just know he was a sicko on the Guinness and Brandy And he was IRA, so he hated the English My nan knew that this the last place that he'd come She was right, I went back to see him buried, no air in his lungs And I'm setting it in hell for my nan, are you dumb? If my dad never walked in the African sun Daydreaming 'bout England and having a son From Algeria to Belgium, from Belgium to France So far away from home, living life on the run Then he made it across the border, fell in love with my mum She was fresh from Ireland, 17 so young I was conceived in Barking and Dagenham, you cunt No ifs or buts, it's just in my blood What if I weren't born in Barking? Both my parents had a better start? The blame game's messy, I ain't starting What if my nan never had a golden heart? And all them nights that I stayed out late in the park What if she never let my arse in? What if I would've stayed my arse in school? Instead of selling crack for some fool Who let me learn the game by myself, every rule If I could go back, I would've robbed that pussy Took his line and his food, 'cause I don't like bullies Wait, I did that If you could've phoned me you could've got your shit back If I would've hit him, that was minimum a shitbag If I was given love instead of locked up so young I probably wouldn't have been a shitbag If I never did jail for the last 15 Then I probably couldn't tell that you're all miskeens Scenes that I seen, man it's just obscene If music paid Muni back, then where would he be? Right here with me, running shit in my sleep If I never met Billz I wouldn't be the man you see If I showed you how to pick up all the pieces, digging deep If you love me like I love you, then love is all you need If Flex was here with me, that's all he would've needed If Reese was here with me, that's all he would've needed I got ghetto angels walking with me, are you seeing this? When I touch keys, I touch keys like a pianist Elegant with it, in my element with it Get my weapon and spin it Back when they sent me Young Offenders In July or December, who remembers? Every time I lost a couple more brethrens Every time I came home to more tension If I have to watch another Eastenders If I have to entertain these pretenders If I wasn't let down all my life Broke with no hope all my life Then I wouldn't have sold drugs all my life Went in and out of jail all my life And I know if my nan was alive She'd be proud of everything I have and what I've built from the ground I went my own way, look how I split from the crowd I'm taking your head if I come for the crown Lung full of loud If I never go gold, I'm triple platinum in these streets, I'm renowned With this sound, I'm profound I used to think I could never go broke if I had a million pound If I had a million pound Shit, what if I had a million pound?