Arm's Length (Alternate Version)

I'm in a group chat With 21 god damn people I wish I was exaggerating, but I'm not My phone crashes 37 times a day But it's nice to have friends Sometimes it's nice to be left on read (Wait, no it's not) I think I'm taking things too personally When did I get so sensitive? I don't think I have the energy to make it out of my bed today It's not even a bed I've been sleeping on an air mattress with a hole For almost three months And sometimes when I can't sleep I can feel the space I've put between The only people I'd risk anything for But if they'd whisper at my door I'd probably hide under the sheets I work a job where I swear to god they're setting a timer when I take a bathroom break And I'm barely scraping minimum wage and the Things they have the audacity to ask of me Better catch up with them eventually Oh, I'm begging please Let it catch them eventually It's my last night in the city that taught me I'm an extrovert And here I am spending it alone Laying on a carpet floor, staring at a wall Listing off all of the places I would rather be And it's my fault I did this to myself I crawled into a hole for a six months Then came creeping back out Expecting everything to be the same And I dug this pit And you enabled it So I guess I'll I'll disappear again, 200 miles West this time I'll get a job and make some fake friends and I'll be Fine Just like the last time Just like the last time Arm's length, arm's length this time Arm's length It's safer that way