Siblings

Tell me how this shit makes sense I've seen blood switch quicker than a paid ref I've seen friends switch up for the paycheck When I got paid less, I seen people's face less When shit was all good, it was all good They would watch paint dry if I wanted to Now to get people together, it's impossible Ain't it funny how they see you when you down and low I would've thought since they was down before and faced obstacles That they'd understand where I was coming from I seen snakes in the grass for some months that done passed If they hiss once don't just stop, you go We done chased all type of goals, all type of hoes We would sit and laugh and type all kind of jokes But when I stop providing, they go up and go Stop feeding people, watch what that hunger do I know, what we are We not blood, but we are We stayed solid, we stayed strong We need each other, more than we know I ain't ever have a brother or a sister Just friends who grew closer every minute I ain't never have to grow up with a sibling Fighting battles on my own in my room, it get daunting Never had friends, had fam since day one Had mans who got my back if you say some If you disrespect them, I'ma let bullets come rain down Spray rounds for my fam and hope they do the same now Cause I been fighting demons On my own, all alone, in this room I keep thinking What if I put a piece of cold chrome to my brain I get these thoughts every weekend I feel weaker, I need to speak up I need help shit, but I don't seek it I feel stuck shit, I feel beat up I pray to God I find a way to start healing I know, what we are We not blood, but we are We stayed solid, we stayed strong We need each other, more than we know How you supposed to be sis, but I ain't heard from you since I was at my lowest low, you just left me for dead Wanted me at your birthday, and I wanted to attend But I was broker than broke, beyond negative in my chase Credit cards maxed out, got two or three dollars in my wallet pouch And you was worried bout how I ain't show up When honestly, I was thinking bout this life and how I want it out Almost wasn't even breathing for your birthday Couldn't even get out of bed, you thought that'd be the first day You don't know half the shit I was dealing with Dealing with my consciousness, fighting fucking demons I don't even know where time had went And now you're back turned, I get it, I got it Now I won't be a problem, just forget I exist I almost didn't so copy, just live in a world That was always the reality I know, what we are We not blood, no we aren't We stayed solid, we stayed strong Until we didn't, but no love is lost I have a couple bros left that I can count on one hand And the ones who still here, they'll forever be my mans I was sleeping on my bros floor, depression beat my ass He don't even know, he almost found me hanging from the fan But nah, I'm stronger than that He did more than he knows and I can't thank him for that I'll always be in debt, I'm more thankful for that And his fam gon' get a check for every night I done spent And my brothers had my back, every time that I fell So many gave up on me, so I gave up on myself Had a couple people left, kept me fighting for real Did you forget who you are, and all the things that you built Shit, you might be right Only reason I'm still breathing is cause my guys And my girl too, she kept me sane and alive And made sure I ate it, and stayed awake just to grind I know, what we are We not blood, but we are We stayed solid, we stayed strong We need each other, more than we know I have a couple bros left that I can count on one hand And the ones who still here, they'll forever be my mans