Boys Will Be Girls

A man cannot become a woman Any more than a man can become a bat - fact Yet these crackpots will stop at nothing So of course I'm gonna catch a ton of flak Look: even if a man self-identifies as a bat Adapts his swagger and acts oddly Even if he's utterly convinced he's a bat And believes he's a bat trapped in a man's body To the extent that he fits artificial webbed-wings on his back And lives a nocturnal lifestyle In a cave hanging from the ceiling Even if he sleeps perched upside down Even if he somehow installs a nifty interface To navigate the world via echolocation Feeds on a diet of fruit and insects And blood (On special occasions) In order for all the world to recognise him as a bat He gives his fake wings a flap Sorry to break it to you... But still - this does not make him a bat Because: a bat - is a bat And that - is a fact Question: can a bat be a bat Whilst at the same time - not be a bat? No - he's either a bat, or he's not a bat! And he can't transform at the drop of a hat And if I voice a doubt Nor is it "batophobic" to point this out I'm somewhat perplexed that I even have to say this Nevertheless it's an act Listen: Batman is not a bat He is a man, dressed as a bat Likewise, man cannot magically become woman Even if he seeks a life beyond One cannot negate biology With a wave of the magic reassignment wand A transgender "woman" has no womb, no ovaries XY chromosomes encode the genes 'She' does not have periods regularly Plus will never experience pregnancy Has no acquaintance with menstruation Required a facelift to make him look like 'her' Will never have to endure childbirth And has only a surgically-carved makeshift vagina Biologically - it's a falsehood Thus it seems to me they're bluffing Psychologically - a man does not know What it means to be a woman Perhaps I've misunderstood? Nonetheless I reckon this claptrap hasn't done 'em good The man who self-identifies as a woman Has but a man's grasp upon womanhood That is to say: next-to-nothing Yet, he's sworn he's not gay! Perhaps it's an extravagant act of mimicry? An extreme form of cosplay? With that being said, if a man wishes To live his life imitating a woman or a bat If a man's in a muddle and is juggling his act Finds himself puzzled and befuddled and detached If a man's having trouble and is struggling with that And when it's all said and done he doesn't have the stomach for the fact And thinks that the remedy would be To proclaim himself as a woman, or a bat - fine! But if that man then demands in law That I am to recognise him as a woman, or a bat When he's blatantly neither a woman, nor a bat Then what type of logic is that? If it's now been declared a diabolical act To plainly state what is a biological fact - what then? They have a lack of any proof People! What happened to the truth? Boys will be girls And girls will be boys Coming soon to a school near you This is the new normal Boys will be girls And girls will be boys "Gender's a social construct" These folks have lost touch! So how many goddamn genders are there? And who dreamt up this empty drama? They plumbed the depths and spun this web And now biology is under threat Courtesy of the "Gender Theory" herd "Gender is a spectrum, haven't you heard? The concept of gender is "fluid"" REALITY CHECK - you are deluded! But now these pitiful little fools Wish to teach this piffle to kids in school Madness in the individual is rare But amongst herds - it is the rule! When 50% of millenials think "gender's a spectrum" I pity the next generation Condemned to be raised by a bunch of eunuchs Who slept through sex education "But there's a difference between sex and gender!" When will you dimwits learn? Up until 1955 Gender was naught but a linguistic term "But our findings reveal The traditional male and female binary is false Plus, we've discovered that The socially-constructed nature of gender is entirely at fault" They talk of "findings" and "discoveries" And these "findings" have been trending But these people can't tell the difference between Finding and inventing And so they broke with reality Enter: the age of social insanity! I for one won't be stroking their vanity Now I'm told this is blasphemy Because These folks have lost touch... But I too shall usurp the humanities! I shall be deemed a pioneer when they hear me I'm going to create my own field of so-called "research" And I shall call it: - Age Theory I've cottoned on to the clever tactics That are draped in elegant gilding There are 10-year-olds who act like geriatrics And pensioners who behave like petulant children Hence: age is a social construct A hoax that they hoped would suppress us The Gerontocracy constructed the concept of age So as to "oppress" us Throughout life we merely "perform" our age It seems that we were out of sync If I'm a 5-year-old who, on the inside, is 21 Why should I not be legally allowed to drink? Our own age is something we ought to be free to designate Allow me to demonstrate: By the standards of the evil Gerontocracy I'm seen as being 28 But I self-identify as a 75-year-old Age is a spectrum! I should get my free bus pass! And the State should pay me my pension! Social Justice! I demand my rights! I want to choose my own birthday! I'm an OAP in a boy's body You better watch what words you use in the workplace! You need to use my pronouns! I reject your request for more evidence! I demand that henceforth I be referred to as "Your Eminence" My personal pronoun is: gwee My possessive pronoun is: gwis My reflexive pronoun is: gwimself You better note down this list! I self-identify as a septuagenarian It's safe to say I may screech If anybody points out that I'm not what I say I am They're engaged in - hate speech! I call for the State to stop these tyrants! To have them gagged and silenced! They're creating a toxic climate! And that is an act of violence! How dare they make such a vague suggestion And question my "age-expression" Away with the ageist bigotry! Today I declare the age of - Age Fluidity! "Oi, did you hear about the 60 year old Who self-identified as a 6 year old Enrolled himself back in primary school And had the other kids entirely fooled?" But how do we measure age? "Hm, without sounding dumb I thought it was by the amount of times The earth has done a 360 around the sun?" "No! Age is a spectrum" If you acknowledge that, then it's changeable I may look 60 but I'm 6 and a half I'm transgen-erational! The concept of age is an arbitrary constraint And on this basis I've been contemplating Whether to declare myself - ageless Age is a recent invention Interwoven in a total conflux There's no discongruity between a boy and a man Man is a social construct" They love this term: "social construct" They think everything is a "social construct" These ogres have told me to sew my gob shut (I'm hoping I won't get locked up) But if nature doesn't mould his conduct... If it's all a "social construct"... Then it follows: the idea that everything is a "social construct" Is - itself - a "social construct"! They've socially constructed The entire concept of "social constructs"! And so the clock struck I suspect these folks have lost touch I revoke their broke rhetoric What an absolute load of bollocks! Has biology been abolished? Has psychology been demolished? Why do the facts not matter anymore? And why, with the truth, do we decide to gamble? They say that we live in the age of "post-truth" And this nonsense - is a prime example!