Drone

Stay awake I close my eyes Feel everything at once Fade to grey You put your faith on needles end And the hemlock's in your blood I can start to make out imprints on the floor From months of laying still I feel like I've lost all that I fought for Getting out of bed each day still kills me In the morning all I think about is you I left an army of angels in my carpet Guardians in my living room I don't know why I'm not letting this go I spent these 6 months on my own And I've got nothing to show for it And I don't know why I've been feeling so low And every day just seems to drone on Disappointments I can't outgrow And it feels like I haven't slept in weeks Because each time I close my eyes I drown silent in apathy Choke on every opportunity To be the man that you need me to be Second chances, ghosts of memories Spending hours chasing shadows between the sheets I still see you in the retina static too You hung yourself with the slack I gave you You found a temporary fix for all your problems But it turned into a permanent solution Now I'm dealing with the aftershock that comes from time to time I'm still wrestling these anxious thoughts that haunt me in the night I haven't changed at all inside I don't know why I'm not letting this go I spent these six months on my own And I've got nothing to show for it I don't know why I've been feeling so low And every day just seems to drone on Disappointments I can't outgrow I slowly watched your best years wash away Like a Monterey sunrise you shouldn't be surprised it never came You said that this was it and that you'd change