Dopamine

My dreams affecting me Trying to fucking sleep I need this dopamine To make me feel something Take one, then two, then take a few So much pain, just tell me what to do Eaten by the pain and locked in the cage Have you ever been drenched in raining shame Disgraceful waste, a waste of space Disintegrate forever, infernal paste I forget the lies when I blacken my eyes An eternity hiding behind ancestral ties Hyper focused when it doesn't even matter Between life and death I'd rather take the latter Spend all my time trying to feel nothing Every time I do it turns into something Hitting the bottom of a bottle Don't know if I'll make it tomorrow Now I got everyone filled with sorrow All cause I needed to feel something All cause I need this dopamine Leave me with the guilt, proving still I'll always wanna change, but I'm locked in shame Dying in my dreams, need dopamine Losing all emotion, Serotonin Drugs don't last too long I don't know what I'm feeding on This feeling that I want feels wrong I'm guessing that I'm too far gone I won't let my feelings show I speak but no real meaning goes Bleeding with with no sound Chemicals that break me down You're the reason I get fucked up You're the reason I can't stand up You were supposed to be the one that saved me Now I have to drown my pain in every scream Downed the bottle to end everything Maybe I'm way too trusting Should've seen it coming Just wanted to feel something Like a wretch in the rain A dog when its slain My hearts aches for the day the pains taken away But I laughed every time God shut me out And now i'm back once again here to show him how That the boy left to rot became the Lord of Flies And I'll be seething till the end Till the day I die