Fan Fiction

You always loved to play this game That you called "Real-Life Fan Fiction" Where you'd take something real and innocuous and You'd try to sneak in some ridiculous little details To see if you could get away with it It'd be something like: Paul Revere, he had a secret fear of horses That's why he rode so fast, he was just trying to get it over with! Charles Darwin wrote a book about some finches With a chapter on which bird adapted to be most delicious And I'm a fan of how you fan the flames and make a game of fan, Fan Fiction... What if something cool happened instead? I'm just wishin' for the story to be more like in my head Like Fan Fiction You'd do this thing whenever we'd go to a grocery store or a farmer's market And you would have me -- we'd pretend not to know each other And you would make me go up and take a sample and say Oh, may I please take one for my partner, as well? And of course, they'd give it to me 'cause it didn't matter And I would scurry back with our little contraband snack And if we liked it we would hit 'em with the double play! And you'd pull the same move on 'em. And I'm sure that this is the standard operating procedure Copied from the couple's playbook and we did not invent this move But you always called this "Robbing the bank" Which I always thought was so dramatic... and fun. Fan Fiction... What if something cool happened instead? I'm just wishin' for the story to be more like in my head Like Fan Fiction So we did this sort of thing all the time Turning our mundane moments into Silver Screen Nonsense To spice things up and make each other laugh And it was fun when we were gossiping about our neighbors Or making up tragic backstories behind the bones at the museum But I think I got too good at making up stories Thinking I could turn our story into a perfect little screenplay That would wrap up in the third act with a happy-ever-after Because people don't slowly drift apart in movies or fall out of love off-screen They have big emotional confessions with dramatic music That make it obvious that things just aren't the same as they used to be And darling I didn't hear a thing when I said Hey, we should go rob a bank And you looked at me and your eyes were blank How could you forget that? Are you so checked out? Are we okay? It's like you didn't know my face, moved on from playing silly games But interests shift and passions slip and times move on and people change But if that's gonna happen I will fill in all the gaps with Fan Fiction What if something good happened instead? I'm just wishin' for the story to be more like in my head And no matter how all this ends, it makes no difference I'll be writing my own end with Fan Fiction Fan Fiction