What Am I Supposed To Do

Shit Song after song it just keeps getting darker What's left for me what type of music they gon be playing at the altar Scared to move around I might die in second Either by white hands or my own ambitions Listen My ears keeps getting worse so what about my passion My vision keeps getting worse so I might crash When I'm drifting Pissing in the same spot I sleep in No respect for myself I stay geekin Only way that lets me see what's really Job searches looking for a fucking genie It's the money drought I ain't got no pay Selling grams like my momma didn't want me to Made 200 damn this is what I'm supposed to do What am I supposed to do? I'm at the alter Looking for fates i can alter Like kratos i can't be bothered Thoughts of mine i'm pushing farther Shit i barely talk to my father I never listen they call me arthur Shit i barely feel like i'm the author My story foretold Beatboxing but it's in morse code On god mode I tell my fam a lie like on god bro H town swervin wit my eyes closed Shit i think only god knows They hate they can't see my mission My white lies a black heart Spy vs spy I cheated but you did it cuz of spite I'm off topic i just gotta tackle pride Talk about mine Speak of the devil I tried to chat but i'm at a lower level Medusa eyes hit my line but it reflected off my bezel Sharp tongues, sticks and stones, elephant memories And the only time you'll see misery live alone Broken promises and golden rules, With the baby and the bath water Out the window gettin thrown Heaven, Hell, the other side, Chickens, roads, Just a few things I find funny if you didn't get the joke Days, nights, riches, gold, skin & bones The shared human experience in written code Hard findin a moral to the story When every conversations more of an allegory That's the life of super heroes and villains Hell we was prolly best friends chillin in our origin stories, Oh well It's Hard talkin people off the ledge Hard protectin you from what's inside yourself Grew to provide the help Hard choosing between being a human body shield Or livin with the survivors guilt When Self & control has no nexus No moral no lesson Iivin on the excess feels like a natural habitat Eyes heavy as the straw that broke atlas back Either standin at the precipice Or behind the door the ravens been tap tap tapin at What am I supposed to do?