Wish I Could Cry

Built a fortress trading memories for always feeling empty Lost purpose running from my pain I made a prison shining trauma and never found nirvana Sold cyanide for novocaine I've learned that there is no healing in not feeling anything I'm just a cage of skin that threw away the key To fall apart right now, that'd feel like ecstasy but These walls weren't built to break I really wish that I could cry right now I really wish that I could let this out Million thoughts in my head and they all want me dead I'm too good at holding them down I really wish that I could cry right now But I'm afraid that I've forgotten how Being numb's how I cope with the hell that I've known But the silence is making me drown I really wish that I could cry I really wish that I could cry I've had to wear a thousand faces, be fake to just replace this Panic that my past holds tight Now every feeling's lost it's flavor 'cause I feel so much safer As frozen than in fight or flight I've learned that I'd rather suffer, I would rather agonize Than lose the little things just for the alibi That taste of tender love is worth a sacrifice I'm living, not alive I really wish that I could cry right now I really wish that I could let this out Million thoughts in my head and they all want me dead I'm too good at holding them down I really wish that I could cry right now But I'm afraid that I've forgotten how Being numb's how I cope with the hell that I've known But the silence is making me drown My life is full of love but I'm empty 'Cause I've been so afraid of remembering I just want to break down I'm ready So let me please I really wish that I could cry right now I really wish that I could let this out (let this out) Million thoughts in my head and they all want me dead I'm too good at holding them down I really wish that I could cry right now (cry right now) But I'm afraid that I've forgotten how (forgotten how) Being numb's how I cope with the hell that I've known But the silence is making me drown I really wish that I could cry