The Next Best Thing (feat. Scott Wozniak)

Well, it's Christmas, man, what do you have planned? Surely something legal and just Though you must admit that your gifts lack grit Perhaps this time you should indulge in sins outside of gluttony and lust Like greed! Now that's a sin! I know that it's expensive to come up with great gifts And the hottest games your kids already own But if you listen to my song The answer's been there all along Perhaps it's time to buy a game that's brewed at home So, maybe How 'bout the next best thing? Like this bootleg GBA game called Return of the King It might not be Nintendo or Square Enix or Sony But you have to admit that the name's got a ring Ring-a-ding-ding, it passes the title test! There's Super Mario Four and 14 Yes, that's real, look it up They're just as good as Mario Odyssey You know your kids'll play whatever if it's wrapped up with string So throw that dirty ROM hack into their stocking And get the next best thing I've got Somari and Kirby Red Diamond Ooh, perhaps you'd like Pokémon Chaos Black Mario Kart Fighter and Seven Grand Dad No one will know that they're fake So cut yourself some slack You deserve a break, a game is a game And try to ignore that built-in sense of shame They can't all be Call of Duty So squint your eyes, swallow your pride And don't you dare be snooty So, how 'bout the next best thing Just think of all the money that you'll save, cha-ching For, why spend 70 dollars on a triple-A game When you could buy a homemade one that has the same name Shop local, folks! I understand your reservations Getting Crash II Advance can sting But if you give your cash to me I guarantee you all will see Though these games may not be great It's way cheaper to emulate So trust in Scott and you can't lose Use the savings for some booze And this Christmas, you will dance and sing For the next best thing