Crux

I wake up and I'm sitting upon the edge of a chair with no light to shine! My eyes adjust to the darkness and feel for a sign! My arms are locked in close and I can't feel a thing! I clench my jaw 'til my face starts to sting! (Decisions, decisions, you've got one more to make) (Just one more life for you to selfishly take) I'm just an empty host, watch as I fall! (watch as I fall) She's just a vixen conning me to end it all! Take me, leave me out to dry Be my aggressor, tell me not to cry Heaven, turn me into a thrall Give me the courage to end it all Time begins to haunt me as I focus on the depths of the click The clock-hands wrap around my neck to show me all the pain I inflict Please tell me if you lived, would you say that it's true? Would you still love me as the mother, or the lover I once knew? She's just too real to me! She's just a fucking dream! She rest inside of my mouth! And makes me bite my tongue! The blood comes rushing out! Draining, draining, the blood drains away! Dying, dying, I'm dying today! Finally, finally, I'm feeling alive! Devil, Devil, I give you my life! Take me, leave me out to dry Be my aggressor, tell me not to cry Heaven, turn me into a thrall Give me the courage to end it all Take me, leave me out to dry Be my aggressor, tell me not to cry Heaven, turn me into a thrall Give me the courage to end it all "Darkness overtakes the room No sight, no sound, nobody As I perspire I feel the cold chill of sweat slide down my body like a frozen blade The room, although enclosed, gains the presence of a frigid wind nearing me It's grim, it's deathly, it's beautiful My tongue rests between my teeth as I hesitate to lock my jaw shut The frigid presence wraps around me like motherly apathy 'Clench your jaw shut, it will all be over soon No more pain, no more agony No more living with the immense guilt that I have inflicted on you Do it, my son I swear that you'll die'"