Taking It Back

Think I was a normal kid 'fore you appeared Maybe a hint of some weird but it's clear I was better off till you interfered Were you creeping in there? Were you already here? Really I don't wanna know I think you flirted with my brother? Yeah you were with my brother he told me a joke Then we said the same word said if you still wanna marry You should touch your nose and you went like woah Activated Introduced me to you it was agitating Stupid Italian superstition's all it was But for some reason you made it a massive statement I'm like "what you saying"? He's like "nothing crazy" "It's just some shit I heard man it's dumb, I'm playing" Truth is the trigger was pulled there was something shady And you said fuck it then do it? Right just in case and I was trapped No this isn't logical Turning you off was just fucking impossible You say probably there's no correlation but if you're wrong You gotta live with being responsible No, then it was constant assault The thoughts wouldn't go Like what if because you don't pray for your brother and father Then God wants to punish you and he decides that he's taking em' both? Shit escalated beyond my control I was dealing with intrusive thoughts Of harm caused to the people that I knew and loved No matter how ridiculous I couldn't choose to run Cause I'd be living with the guilt of killing and really plenty more Like I did when I researched you show up in many forms (forums) OCD, you were no match it was game set A chain around my brain yes I didn't know your name yet but Look at this kid He don't wanna live he's so unattached He don't wanna this he don't wanna that No this is revenge I'm taking it back Yes All the time wasted with you and our rituals that I will not miss you were all in my head Was it me or was it you who abused and consumed Every single relationship I ever had Don't know who to blame, I wasn't myself Was never the same, I couldn't rebel With you all the time, control every tic All parts of my brain, I'm stuck in a cell Don't got any friends, you're all that I have And you make me mess and less of a man No this is revenge I'm taking it back No this is revenge I'm taking it back I'm taking it back to I'm 22, locked in my room Is it midnight, is it noon? No stopping no truce Every single thought you produce, shock and abuse Till I thought about it getting a shotgun and shoot There's no talking about you Who's legitimately gonna believe it That I be struggling with these demons It was a front I wasn't undefeated That you made it tough to even breathe and you Don't even make sense anymore My bother the only one suspicious cause he met you before When you stepped through the door Oh Lord, victim of you sticking with me no more I discovered you name, no longer flooded with shame With every brush on the canvas, you abandon the floor And now I'm standing for sure, with every beat exposed Shut down dispensary our relationship we disclosed But before you throw me in the freezing cold Tell me was I predisposed or will I have a kid, see him grow and go Look at this kid, He don't wanna live, he's so unattached He don't wanna this, he don't wanna that No this is revenge, I'm taking it back Yes All the time wasted with you and our rituals that I will not miss you were all in my head Was it me or was it you who abused and consumed Every single relationship I ever had Don't know who to blame I wasn't myself Was never the same I couldn't rebel With you all the time control every tic All parts of my brain I'm stuck in a cell Don't got any friends you're all that I have and You make me mess and less of a man No this is revenge I'm taking it back No this is revenge I'm taking it back I'm taking it back to I'm taking it to the next level then Catching up for the time that you meddled with Made me feel at the centre of everything but I see the damage By you and your relatives Isn't my art a poetic escape Narcissistic till the rest of my days Compulsion to win, my life in disorder, the obsession the same At times I still hear what is left of you say