memories of you

In most memories i have of you And i only have a few You're slurring all your words Your breath smells of bitterness In most memories i have of you And i only have a few You can't even walk up the stairs You can't even remember our birthdays And i waited for you by the door Like the moon waits for the sun Until one day i started hiding instead Whenever i heard your car engine stop I waited for you Till enough was enough Till i got old enough to understand Everything you have done I can't bring myself to forgive you No matter how many times i've tried And you say you want to fix it But you're beating with a hammer on a broken glass Please don't hold it against me That i can't look at you and see someone who's supposed to be my sun Instead the only thing i see in your eyes Is you standing in a bloody crime scene With a murder weapon in your hand Four broken porcelain dolls at your feet All you gave her was thunder and lightning All you gave her were threats that turned out empty But they still made her so scared She didn't leave the house to go see her own family Even tho she hasn't seen them in years Alone with three young children at home I wonder how she managed to stay sane You can't fix now what broke so long ago You can't pretend like you've done nothing wrong I can't bring myself to forgive you No matter how many times i've tried And you say you want to fix it But you're beating with a hammer on a broken glass Please don't hold it against me That i can't look at you and see someone who's supposed to be my sun Instead the only thing i see in your eyes Is you standing in a bloody crime scene With a murder weapon in your hand Four broken porcelain dolls at your feet Now i look for you in everyone i fall for Because i don't want to end up With someone like you I don't want to end up trapped like her So i push everyone away Because you made me so afraid to love I push everyone away Cause you made me afraid of life I can't bring myself to forgive you Four broken porcelain dolls at your feet Four broken porcelain dolls at your fee