Got a bag of candy collected Halloween
Biggest bag of candy I had ever seen
Had to have it X-rayed before I had a treat
To be sure a psycho hadn't put a razor in my sweets
Boo! Hear the ghosts and the goblins cry
They get to wishin' for the days gone by
When the little kids were frightened, it is said
Only by the ghouls who were dead
Trick or treatin' at the mall scare the preppies at the Gap
Especially if your costume isn't politically correct
The mall can't give out candy 'cause of a lawsuit that they had
But here's a coupon for a futon in the bottom of your bag
Mommy and Daddy follow in the minivan
Mace and a cellphone in their nervous hands
It's hard to spook the neighbors into givin' nuts and loot
When you're a ninja in a down coat at four in the afternoon
...only by the ghouls who were dead
Only by the ghouls who were... deaaaaaad
(witch cackle)
