Still fighting depression
Trying not to think about stressing
Lying to myself it's a blessing
Hiding in my shell from the lesson
I've never cried
The way I did last night
Back of my mind
Saying it serves me right
But lord I tried
To right my wrongs more than twice
And every time
I seen the devil win fights
And as I'm staring at this 38
I see visions of my kids
Crying at my wake
Am I correcting or making a mistake
Just like my message
I shall too be erased
I've been starving for weeks
Breaking out
From dirty covers and sheets
What little bread I make
I save it to eat
I'm no where near on my feet
I know the stress killing me
Don't understand
How did I open this gate
Emotion breakdown
A critical state
A mental meltdown
That I hope to escape
What if I can't
What if I seal my own fate
Will they call me a coward
Will they understand
The pain feels it gains more power
Everyday standing in place for hours
I hate this phase
Hate that I cry in the shower
And I may never release this
But certain people's ears
I do hope it reaches
While they watched from bleachers
I was with you on the field nigga
Sneaker to sneaker
Changing the chapter
This one I called
Before and after
I was a fraud
I was an actor
I heard it all I was the cancer
Thought I was father and husband
I wasn't even a factor
These days I'm missing the laughter
Kissing my kids
Tucking them in bed right after
