The Haunted Gym

October night in '92, I had nothing else to do I decided to go for a swim so I went down to my local gym The parking lot was cloaked with fog In the distance a howling dog As soon as I walked through the door I noticed something there on the floor To my dismay, a severed head Apparently the staff was dead I was certain that I'd meet my doom When I found some coffins in the locker room Blood was splattered on the walls And flowing from the toilet stalls What I'd see next would make me shit my pants It was 12x scarier than the Monster Mash It was the Gym It was the Haunted Gym The Haunted Gym Only ghouls are allowed in Where monsters get fit and trim It was the Haunted Gym It was the Gym It was the Haunted Gym The Haunted Gym Where ghastly creatures swim The atmosphere is dark and grim Down at the Haunted Gym Frankenstein was in the back Maxing out on the squat rack Whilst his bride, I should mention Was working out on the leg extension The Creature from the Black Lagoon Relaxing in the sauna room Zombie on the mill o' tread Holy shit, that dude's undead Wolfman shooting a sweet skyhook While the mummy was blocking him by the book What do I see? A gruesome ghoul Doing laps in the swimming pool Dracula was working hard Doing some curls to blast his arms His biceps were so fucking large That's why he is the monster in charge It was the Gym It was the Haunted Gym The Haunted Gym Only ghouls are allowed in Where monsters go to get fit and trim It was the Haunted Gym It was the Gym It was the Haunted Gym The Haunted Gym It was a graveyard smash The atmosphere is dark and grim Down at the Haunted Gym