I Try But...

Honestly, feeling kinda aggravated Little mad but I'm feeling kinda motivated Little sad, but I think I'll be alright Searching for a time when I'm not Not a time When I'm not feeling down Or I'm feeling alone And I'm wondering why I never pick up the phone I should give it a try But it's harder than bones Cause I feel that I should be alone Knock on the door I know it's my demons They keep coming back They're always deceiving I cower away I never could face them I'm wanting to change I get so afraid of Opening up Its not what I'm made for Know it could work But I lose what I came for That is a place That I go when my hearts sore But I don't want it anymore Stuck in a loop And becoming insane Saving myself By doing my own thing All of the pressure Is getting to my brain Can't do it anymore Pray as I lose faith Losing my brain Can you stop me Before I lose you And lose the one thing That is all I have To stay okay You always save me Always save me I try to fix myself I try to be okay I try to fix myself I try to be okay But I, am not Okay, again But I, am not Okay, again Put up a bag, and I start with my hooks I jab for attention, but never get looks I'm pounding away, and the bag starts to sway Punch like it's me Cause I'm causing the pain Clearing my head With some physical pain Even though I know it's never the way Moving around And I'm changing my pace And All of the sudden I'm seeing my face Start to replace, the bag I am taking Out all my anger, it's starting to fade and I start to look up And I realize I'm hanging My body and all of the demons I'm facing A shot to my body I'm shocked to the core I'm giving me pain Like it's never before Then I have the audacity To ask why my body is sore Damn Why do I do, what I do Why do I do, what I do I try to fix myself I try to be okay I try to fix myself I try to be okay But I, am not Okay, again But I, am not Okay, again