Funny Honey

For her first number Miss Roxie Hart sings a song of love and devotion Dedicated to her dear husband, Amos Sometimes I'm right Sometimes I'm wrong But he doesn't care He'll string along He loves me so That funny honey of mine Sometimes I'm down Sometimes I'm up But he follows 'round Like some droopy-eyed pup He loves me so That funny honey of mine He ain't no sheikh That's no great physique Lord knows, he ain't got the smarts But look at that soul I tell ya, that whole Is a whole lot greater than the sum of his parts And if you knew him like me I know you'd agree What if the world slandered my name? Why, he'd be right there Takin' the blame He loves me so And it all suits me fine That funny, sunny, honey hubby of mine Man got a right to protect his home and his loved ones, right? Of course he has I come in from the garage, Officer, see And I see him coming through the window (uh-huh) My wife Roxie, there sleeping Like an angel (uh-huh) An angel He loves me so, that funny honey of mine Name of deceased: Fred Casely Fred Casely? How can he be a burglar? My wife knows him He sold us our furniture! Lord knows, he ain't got the smarts Oh, she lied to me! She told me it was a burglar! You mean he was dead when you got home? Yeah, she had him covered with a sheet already She's tellin' me that cock and bull story about some burglar And I oughta say I did it 'Cause I was sure to get off! Burglar, huh?! Now he shot off his trap I can't stand that sap Look at him go (and I believed her!) Rattin', rattin' on me! (That little tramp!) With just one more brain (so she was cheating on me, huh?) What a half-wit he'd be (well, she can swing for all I care) If they string me up (boy, I'm down at the garage) I'll know, I'll know (workin' my butt off fourteen hours a day) Who bought the twine (and she's up here munchin' her goddamn bon-bons and jazzin'!) That scummy, crummy (Well, this time you pushed me too hard) Dummy hubby of mine! (Boy, what a sap I was!)