When Velma Takes the Stand

Billy, I been thinkin' a lot about my trial Could I show you what I thought I might do on the witness stand? Oh, sure, sure. Go ahead Good. Hit it! Well, when I got on the stand I thought I'd take a peek at the jury And then cross my legs like this, you know When Velma takes the stand Then, when Harrison cross examines me I thought I'd give 'im this And then if he yells at me I thought I'd tremble like this "Ooh, ah, ooh ah!" When Velma takes the stand Look at little Vel See her give 'em hell Ain't she doin' grand? She's got 'em eatin' out of the palm of her hand! Then, I thought I'd let it all be too much for me You know, like real dramatic Then, I thought I'd get real thirsty and say "Oh please, someone, could I have a glass of water?" When Velma takes the stand See that Kelly girl Make that jury whirl When she turns it on She's gonna get 'em goin' Until she's got 'em gone Then, I thought I'd cry Buckets Only I don't have a handkerchief - That's when I have to ask you for yours! I really like that, don't you? Oh, good! Then, I thought I'd try to get up and walk - Only I'm too weak, so I slump and I slump And I slump and I slump and finally, I faint! When she rolls her eyes Watch her take the prize