I Put My Hand In

Call on Dolly She's the one the spinsters recommend Just name the kind of man your sister Wants and she'll snatch him up Don't forget to bring your maiden aunts And she'll match him up Call on Dolly If your eldest daughter needs a friend Tell me, Mrs. Levi What's in all this for you? A living, Mr. Kemper Some people paint Some sew I meddle I've always been a woman who arranges things For the pleasure and the profit it derives I've always been a woman who arranges things Like furniture and daffodils And lives When a man with a timid tongue Meets a girl with a diffident air Why should the tortured creatures Beat around the bush? When heaven knows Mother Nature always needs a little push So I put my hand in here I put my hand in there And a girl over six foot three Loves a man who comes up to her ear Surely it's obvious she'll never be seduced Till some kind soul condescends To give her beau a little boost So I put my hand in there I put my hand in here I have always been a woman who arranges things It's my duty to assist the Lord above I have always been a woman who arranges things Like luncheon parties, poker games, and love My aplomb in cosmetic art Turned a frump to a trump lady fair She had a countenance a little bit like Scrooge But oh, today you would swear The Lord Himself applied the rouge I put my hand in here And twist a little Stir a little Him a little, her a little Shape a little, mold a little Some poor chap gets sold a little When I use my fist a little Some young bride gets kissed a little Pressure with the thumbs Matrimony comes When I put my hand in there