Me PSP

I've got a confession to make, for a man of my age Now young lads play with it all the time They think its all the rage They do it in their bedrooms When their mum and dads in bed Grown men like me shouldn't do it Coz we've got wives instead I've tried talking to the wife But she doesn't understand The pleasure that it gives me When I hold it in me hand The longer you play wi' it The more its gets hard Especially when you've got no memory on yer memory card I'm talking about my PlayStation PSP of course Dirty, inquisitive minds Oh it started one day I got a bonus from work Two hundred pounds Oh, the wife she went bezerk 'Cos she sent me down to B & Q To go and buy some shelves But I spent the cash in Gamestation And she played merry hell Yer see I bought meself a PSP Wi' a couple of great games And ever since I bought it Life hasn't been the same And the wife wants me to do the gutters It'd only take a day But instead I'm wasting all me time Playing GTA Oh me PSP Me PSP It really is fantastic It is the one for me I'm glad I saw it in a shop Just sitting on a shelf 'Cos now I get so much pleasure Playing with meself I've tried talking to the wifeBut she doesn't understand The pleasure that it gives me When I hold it in me hand The longer I play wi' it The more it gets hard Especially when you've got no memory On yer memory card I've been playing that Tomb Raider Have you seen the size of the levels on that game? Huge Well, the wife is getting fed up now I never come to bed I just sit on the sofa And play FIFA instead She puts on sexy underwear Gives me come to bed eyes But the kid down't road I've got to beat him He's onto level five Oh me PSP Me PSP It really is fantastic It is the one for me I'm glad I saw it in a shop Just sitting on a shelf 'Cos now I get so much pleasure Playing with meself I've tried talking to the wifeBut she doesn't understand The pleasure it gives me When I hold it in me hand The longer I play wi' it The more it gets hard Especially when you've got no memory On yer memory card Left, left, left, why won't it go left Jean? I'm pressing it, it's not going left here Jean And so one night when me and't wife Were cozy lay in bed She whispered softly in my ear And this is what she said "Darling I've been thinking About our bedroom fun And the pleasure that you get By moving just your thumb So I've bought myself a present To keep me entertained I'll confess that it takes batteries And I'm sure you won't complain I couldn't think of what she'd bought But I didn't have to guess Coz right then she pulled it out A Nintendo DS I've tried talking to the wife And now she understands The pleasure it gives her When she holds it in her hand The longer she plays wi' it The more it gets hard Especially when she's got no memory On her memory card Right if I hit Square, Circle, Triangle, down, Down, up, down, up- that's got him, that's got him Jean Killed him