Folies Bergères

So, there really is a script? Absolutely! Good! From now on you will work on it with my associate producer Stephanie Necrophorus! She writes for Cahier du Cinema under the name Robespierre Kyrie Contini I'm, ah, not an admirer of yours So If you would now please tell me what your film's about Perhaps I can help you with its plot Which has always been one of your, ah Weakest points Oh, well, thank you, that's very generous of you Um, let me see Where do I begin? At first - nothing Then - music! The action begins in a graveyard A man has been buried alive He's scratching and clawing Poor fellow, he's caught in a terrible crunch! He's fighting his way to the surface It's likely he'll never survive He hardly can breathe And he's desperate to keep an appointment for lunch An appointment for lunch? That's absurd! It's humorous! Well, it sounds depressing It does In fact we begin with a wedding A prologue to what I've described We're happy and gay and in love and it's spring And the trees are all green A trio of capuchin monkeys Insinuates into the frame They chatter a bit and then one disappears But the others remain Have I mentioned the train? The train? Of course! There are trains in all Contini films! It's my signature! With a bold clean masterstroke A bold clean masterstroke Suddenly, suddenly, suddenly, suddenly Suddenly we see fire and smoke With a bold clean masterstroke A bold clean masterstroke Suddenly, suddenly, suddenly, suddenly Suddenly there's a train! With a bold clean masterstroke A bold clean masterstroke Suddenly, suddenly, suddenly, suddenly Suddenly one colossal joke! And the monkeys all get on The monkeys all get on Suddenly, suddenly, suddenly, suddenly Suddenly they're all gone! Ciao! Contini! This is not what I want! There's no train in a spa There's no monkeys in a spa And where is the dancing? Where is the singing? What singing and what dancing? When we had lunch in Paris, you told me you couldn't wait to do a musical! A musical? Why did you think I gave you this contract? What was I drinking at that lunch? Mais c'est pas possible! Pourquoi faut-il que je m'associe toujours avec les idiots? Madonna, madonna! Le cinema today is in a crisis Directors are so existentialistes The movies are not worth their entrance prices If no one sings a love song when they're kissed Contini! I want a musical! Love cannot be love without 'le singing' A string, a clarinet, a saxophone Take a lesson from this old Parisian And the finest entertainment she has known Folies Bergeres What a showing of color, costume, and dancing! Not a moment in life could be more entrancing Than an evening you spend aux Folies Bergeres Folies Bergeres Not a soul in the world would be in despair when he Is glancing At the fabulous stage des Folies Bergeres Think of the footlights bright and gleaming Le strip-tease, le can-can we all adore Life is too short without dreaming And dreams are what le cinema is for Folies Bergeres La musique et la danse, le son, la lumiere! Les petits jolis seins des belles bouquetieres Sur la belle passerelle des Folies Bergeres Pas de mystere Le spectacle est tout a fait decouvert The trouble with Contini, he's the king of mediocrities A second-rate director who believes that he is Socrates He never makes a movie or a picture or a flick, he makes a film Get it? A film A typical Italian with his auto and biography A mixture of Catholicism, pasta and pornography A superficial, womanizing, moderately charming Latin fraud Grazie! Prego And what are his movies about? Just beauty, truth, death, youth, love, life, anguish, angst Thanks to him we have boredom at the movies Grazie! Prego! Darlings! Folies Bergeres (The trouble with Contini, he's the king of mediocrities) La musique et la danse (A second-rate director who believes that he is Socrates) Le son, la lumiere! (He never makes a picture or a movie or a flick, he makes a film) Les petits jolis seins des belles bouquetieres (Get it? A film! A typical Italian with his auto and biography) Sur la belle passerelle (A mixture of Catholicism, pasta and pornography) Des Folies Bergeres (A superficial, womanizing, moderately charming Latin fraud) Pas de mystere (And what are his movies about? Just beauty) Le spectacle est tout a (Truth, death) Fait d'couvert. (Youth, love, life, anguish, angst) Et pas trop cher (Thanks to him we have boredom at the movies) Viens ce soir avec moi (Viens ce soir avec moi aux Folies Bergeres!) Aux Folies Bergeres I love it! Folies Bergeres The music, the lights, and the laughter The answer to what you are after Each night at the Folies Bergeres Folies Bergeres - To your modern ideas I simply compare one derriere At the Folies Bergeres! The answer to what you are after The music, the lights, and the laughter Of the Folies Bergeres!