I Married The Bootleggers Daughter

One day just by chance At a cab driver's dance A wonderful girlie I found A bootlegger's daughter Who always drank water Unless there was liquor around So I married the bootlegger's daughter And really it isn't so bad I work all the day But it's nothing but play Just taking out orders for Dad I know that the stuff's full of poison But me and my sweetie won't die When we want a drink We go out to the sink The bootlegger's daughter and I When I asked her to wed "Go to father" she said He's down at the still making gin Said he "It's with joy that I welcome you boy Just hang up your hat and come in" So I married the bootlegger's daughter And she was a terrible quince I kissed her goodnight Where the moonlight was bright And I've been on a jag ever since They say that her money is tainted Though it ain't quite as taint as they say She came with a breath That would scare you to death But Listerine took it away So I married the bootlegger's daughter And now I'm just rolling in dough The way she drinks gin Is a terrible sin But "girls will be girls" as you know Prohibition's the least of our worries For the whole bloomin' world may go dry Her Dad made his will And he left the old still To the bootlegger's daughter and I Oh! hail! hail! the gang's all here Mustn't say the naughty word Mustn't say the naughty word I'm meeting the very best people And moving in high society Tonight the Mexican consul Is bathing his tonsil With the bootlegger's daughter and me