I'm keeping track of tasks in lists, "to-do," "to-get." Write down all the things I could have been and the options that I have left. We've already boxed the trophies and scholar's accolades. Wrapped them all in so much tape that it erased the names.
I'm taking Friday's paycheck to pay for Monday's rent. I'm filling out credit card
applications every chance I get. I find new cavities each night as I clean my teeth.
I'm finding new ways to walk the line between self-destruction and self-respect. I'm laughing in the bathroom mirror, too tired to care, but you can never save face when it is you that is looking back. Time to measure up, but measure with what? Set your sights for something to change or the tide will was us away. Falling over every notion that I imagined for my bright future, feels like a spotlight on failure. I'm falling over every motion that I imagined would bring me forward, but I'm back where it all begins. I've walked so slow around the learning curve that the endpoints eventually met to form a circle. All figuratives aside, I can change and break this circle I walk and get out.
