My Brother Makes the Noises for the Talkies

My brother makes the noises for the talkies, There's not a single noise that he can't do: If you've forgotten what a parrot's squawk is – Our Rod can demonstrate that noise for you. He does the steam escaping from liners leaving dock; He'll fake a razor scraping or else a cuckoo clock. My brother makes the noises for the talkies, There's not a single noise that he can't do. This is what I hear when I'm in bed – A bang, a rattle, like thunder overhead, The cat's miaow, and dog's bow-wow, The only sleep I'll get is when I'm dead. A shot goes crack: a gale starts blowing, A duck goes quack, a cock starts crowing. You might think I'm kidding you, But what I say is true – Just listen; I'll explain to you. My brother makes the noises for the talkies, There's not a single noise that he can't do: I'm really not quite certain what a stork is – But if it makes a noise, then Rod does too. He makes the noise that steers make When cowboys make a swoop: He makes the noise that beards make When used for straining soup. My brother makes the noises for the talkies, There's not a single noise that he can't do. My brother can make any noise you wish: Like two sealions shouting out for fish. A horse's neigh, a donkey's bray, He's even got a noise for Lilian Gish. The only time he made a bungle Was when a tiger in the jungle With mighty roar dropped dead With bullets in its head And Rod moo'd like a cow instead. My brother makes the noises for the talkies, There's not a single noise that he can't do: You'll know exactly what a popping cork is – For Rod can pop a pretty cork for you. He'll imitate a setter, a pheasant or a grouse – But what is even better is his noise for Mickey Mouse. My brother makes the noises for the talkies, There's not a single noise that he can't do.