I rented a room in a bum hotel, shame and disgrace
Ain't got thar to pack my trunk, I moved to another place
I never saw the like before, since the day that I was born
The lot of tramps come in this city and a whole lot more this morn
There's an old maid lives up stairs, and a dude that puts on airs
There's two that fights like cats and dogs
Next room to me, but one, there's a fiddler and his son
Teaching two old maids to dance the clog
The other night while napping, not dreaming of a dance
They broke right in to my room and got my coat and pants
They even took the bedcoat and sneaked away like mice
And when I woke up from my dream, I'se hit three times or twice
I was full of aches and pains, I called for help in vain
Someone heard me, thought there was a fight
They broke right down the door, took the carpet from the floor
I slept in a room without a bed that night
The other day I was almost starved, I attempted for to steel
I went and nabbed the landlord, for enough to buy a meal
He sent me to the kitchen and said I was a beet
But when I looked upon that table, I'll be darned if I could eat
There was two tramps on the floor, and a pig behind the door
In the corner a busy chicken coop
There was insects in the air, and the butter had red hair
And the children they were playing in the soup
