I Can Do That

What exactly do you do for a living? Well... I've been know to do Some painting, decorating, bricklaying Dog training and Wedding DJing. Welding, gelding, fencing I've even carried stuff for Sherpa Tenzing I've been a farmer, a snake charmer Bill wrote a lesson for the Dalai Lama Carl's qualified in cod psychology And I can turn my hand to gynocology A butcher, a baker, a candlestick maker An overachiever as an undertaker Personal services, assisted showers Fact creation 24 hours A little bit of this A little bit of that I don't charge much And I won't charge VAT Tell me what you want and I'll change me hat I've been there, I've done it I tell ya... I can do that I can do that. Just cash, just cash. Don't mention anything to the tax man And don't write anything down I can do that, a little bit of this, a little bit of that Turn me hand to anything really Alright then I've been a gigolo for Kate Bigelow (nice) An understudy baritone in Figaro I fixed a football match, a fridge and a car. We once ran the bar at a bar mitzvah, A lorry driver and a diver for pearls I taught the Dagenham Girl Pipers how to do their twirls I sold a skip load of make up to Katie Price Some wholesale pharmacy... did that twice I've been a goody, a baddy Trevino's caddy Ask me nicely And I'll be your daddy Bespoke bicycle and boiler repair And if you don't pay Our Bill... You'll get hospice care A little bit of this A little bit of that I don't charge much And I won't charge VAT Tell me what you want and I'll change me hat I've been there, I've done it I tell ya... I can do that Rumour has it that times are hard But I say It's simple economic theory Like that bloke Milton Keynes says: "Something'll turn up" But my ultimate ambition What I want to do most of all Is to do nothing at all Like our good friend Matt Percival