Oh, yeah, well, Gold Digger took my money
Dipped my heart and hands in honey
Ol' Snake Lady stole my savings
Told Gold Digger she was having my babies.
Well, gold digger swung,
Snake lady fell.
Yeah, took gold digger up to Chapel Hill.
I married her fast;
Murdered her young.
Took my money back and made my run.
Well, Bus driver,
All in red,
Go pull this bus over and end up dead.
Go drive this bus down to Mexico,
Park it on the cliff where that good grass grows
Until a chopper came along
One sunny day,
To burn my crops,
Lock me away.
Girl, I'm eager,
Young,
And qualified.
Got a date with that chair, oh,
In late July.
My momma,
Old and grey,
Sittin' at her home,
Just a-weepin' away.
Her only boy,
Washed down the drain.
Gonna take her son and lock him away.
Well, momma should be
Proud of me.
I lived like a man,
Oh, I'll die like a king.
Cause I'm eager, young, and qualified.
Got a date with that chair, oh in late July.
My pappy
Be old and fat,
Chewin' his cigars with his hair slicked back.
Roll him over,
Beat him black,
Say it's from that boy he never had.
Well, Papa should be in my place
To fry like bacon,
Hang like lace.
Cause I'm eager, young, and qualified.
Got a date with that chair, oh in late July.
Big Betty,
Oh, my old squeeze.
Kissed you so good you go weak in the knees.
Come to see your old man pop,
I wanna have you there when my big heart stops.
Don't you worry,
Don't you fret.
I won't die with no regrets.
Because I'm eager,
Young,
And qualified.
Yeah, I'm eager,
Young,
And starry-eyed.
Oh, the big leagues call
And I reply,
"I got a date with that chair, oh,
In late July."
