Rahadlakum

Ladies, shall we begin... service? What shall be the subject of our erotic discourse? Shall we discuss the nature of... virtue? Think... ladies! Cogitate! Sharpen up the edges of... your... WIT! Virtue is the purest lily Allah ever grew! Virtue is the spotless fruit upon the tree of character! Virtue is its own reward. Virtue is the pathway to paradise Virtue is the road from doom Virtue is the foe of depravity A barricade to Hell's dark cavity Virtue is the nectar celestial Virtue is divine perfume Virtue is the gods' own ambrosia! Virtue is... Rahadlakum! Rahadlakum! Rahadlakum? Rahadlakum!!! On days when my lord groweth restless And bored with his sword and his plume... His handmaiden hath what he needeth, And what doth he need?— Rahadlakum! On nights when my lord looketh listless And black is the hue of his gloom His handmaiden hath what he lacketh And what doth he lack?— Rahadlakum! 'Tis sweet with the meat of the lichee nut Combined with the kumquat rind, The kind of confection To drive a man out of His Mesopotamian mind! And lo, if my lord feeleth faithless And roameth by night from his room His handmaiden fanneth her fires And out of the pan Riseth a tantalizing perfume... He scenteth the scent, He turneth his face, His previous place in her embrace He does resume! And love is in bloom The while they consume Rahadlakum! Rahadlakum!