Different Love

It go, off of my sabbatical Took a few years 'cause slaughter is what I had to do Which only brings me to now, and I ought to be a radical Say that 'cause my autobiographical is more so just a graph of you I ain't mad, you did more than what I asked of you As for me, I did less than what I could've So though we were a hit, had to cancel that show And now my standing solo, I'll be amped when she not a ho But what you doing right now is real commendable Take strength to do 'Cause between us there's some deep root stare I gave you the best dick you ever got in your life And stupid me, thought it would be enough to keep you there I thought you loved football I was running through the hole with the stiff on But got disarmed, guess it was just harm I ain't need to fuck, I was looking for a peer They say once you stop looking, what you looking for appears You were stronger than I pictured you, much stronger than me And almost just as strong as John And John, oh, that's just a friend of my mom's With tubes coming out his nose, but shit I never knew why But he was born with his heart in the right side of his chest No, for real, his heart's in the right side of his chest (where?) Doctors confused, they must do what they can do But impute and say it ain't on the right side of his chest (hey) Scared he might die in his sleep, deep (hey, hey) Every time he cough wonders if it's a cough or it's a symptom Us will get better later He gon' live his whole life waking up every morning to a respirator So I don't never say what I can't do If he can be happy with life, then, nigga, I can too While José wanna die Ain't tell nobody, but eyeing his eyes feel I should probably identify Said everyday he lives with pain and want to end it Something's wired wrong in your brain, you gotta mend it Had a bad breakup and let it expose dude But if she was getting you high, then she would get you low too So, who's there to wait on me? Y'all just get it off y'all, and put the weight on me Nigga look me in my eyes, it was amazing to me And said she don't understand, you not as crazy as me You got gone, nigga, I'm the most mentally flawed nigga You not even built to withstand all I've endured, nigga You know shit about the thoughts in my head Or the strength I need daily just to get out of bed Just to open my eyes, nigga, open your eyes The words spoken of wise, you just know a disguise We can end this right here, I got nothing more to say to you You ain't never met another fucking nigga crazier Blank stare, couldn't believe 'em Cat chastised me 'cause I got help when you need some I can give less than a fuck and not a damn I never be apologetic over who I am I'm the same me, nothing changes when the riches do But niggas wanna suck you dry, just like the bitches do They enter your mentions, sucks to be the center of attention When you can't even center your attention Yeah, so I'm fucking out of frustration They love every second and accuse me of persuasion Jam was a cancer to me, I had to rid it Red got in her feelings fast, but won't admit it Dawn I was bored then, never really smithen V got threatened by the thought of competition Malo wanna fuck all day, don't know how She why I got a Viagra in my wallet right now Steph kept it simple, loved me for my mental B got a nigga, but she used me as her rental And you, you just give me resistance Say you needed comfort zone, for you it's distance I tell 'em all I'm not available emotionally They start giving me advice like they coaching me I don't even ask it It's something 'bout bipolar sociopath shit They just find it attractive Yeah, anti-social, but I mingle now But I've been arguing much more since I've been single, how? Tell me, is this a relationship or just a fuckship? Whatever situation it is, it's all fuck shit I'll admit it, I might love her a li'l differently As for them they'd all love to see a different me Some cried to me, some are begging for it Someone'll see that change, but not be present for it You just act so frightened Ignoring all logic now, she won't buy in Even in your absence my feelings are heightened Though I know some love's lost, it's not on my end It's not mine, it's not mine at all