My Proper Tea

Take the rap game by storm You know? And then I realised right There is one thing There's only one thing that could make me Near homicidal Yeah this is called my proper tea Right I don't know what the fuck I was thinking I bring you to my house as a friend in my kitchen You offer to make the tea Naturally I say yes You're my guest so I take the offer gratefully But then what I see makes my heart burst You've only gone and put the fucking milk in first! Argh! No! You must be out of your mind! It looks like you went and poured about half a pint Now even with the boiling water My tea's already lukewarm Man where the fuck were you born! Wow you destroyed a thing that was sacred Pour it down the sink Let me show you how to make it Tea bag in first Pour the water on top Shut up man I'll tell you when to stop! When you know exactly how much milk is required Making assumptions on how I like it Woah Woah what you doing! Don't let the tea bag sit there brewing! You gotta stir straight away don't stop Otherwise you get that weird scum on the top What is that stuff? And then you put my sugar in What you leave it for! Didn't even stir it in You're unbelievable What did you think it would disintegrate itself? Bruv you need to go and see a shrink and get some help You chose the wrong brother's cuppa to mess with Now go and get me a motherfucking digestive Stay the hell away from my cup bitch Don't even meddle with my kettle Don't touch it! Man go sit down Go watch telly Give me back my teaspoon Bruv you're not ready