Fly in the Ointment

Fly in the ointment Stain on the character Dust on the wainscot Hair on the gate Bee in the bonnet Ash on the waistcoat Flake on the shoulder Crack in the plate Eye on the clock Bat in the belfry Head in the sand Kick up the arse Smudge on the collar Hands in the paint Flea in the ear Snake in the grass I though that you love me 'Cos that's what you said Climb on the table Pat on the bed The further you love me You were taking the piss-tic Out of the frying pan Into the mystic Rock in the carpet Gap in the market The open umbrella But wait in the hall An old bit of gum With nowhere to park it Soldier of fortune Ear on the wall I thought that you loved me Cos that's how I felt Kick in the bollocks Under the belt I thought that you loved me Now I know I'm a prune I wish through the window (This line is so mumbled I doubt he knows what he said) Knot in the hanky Rat on the landing Little bit hanging Pain in the bum Mind your own business Only one standing Wrong side of the bed Terrible hum I thought that you loved me Cos that's what you said Grub on the table Hat on the bed I thought that you loved me You were taking the piss-tic Out of the frying pan Into the mystic (Note: the noises in the last verse and chorus are just him making Rolf Harris type noises, he doesn't actually say any proper words)