I Know

I done seen a lot of guns Seen a lot of drugs Seen a lot of things that made me wonder where I was Seen a lot of people with soulmates and sons that throw away life Just to smoke on a bud Seen a lot of violence Seen a lot of dying Seen a lot things that made wonder where our mind went Seen a lot people just passing and leaving things made me wonder Where the hell the time went Walk around people thinking oh he been about it They don't realize that I been through hella damage Coping mechanism is just laugh about it But I do get sad when I go and think about it I've been steady moving but feeling in the same place Seen a lot of people but I'm staring at a blank face People go and live I'm just carrying a slow pace Maybe that's the reason I'm so easy to replace But shit I'm married now Shit ain't ever down Shit went south But shit is better now This I carry out This I'm very proud Married to the game This a wedding vow Shit so sick proceed it with caution Cuz they never give me props I'ma hell of an artist And I'm bound to break a record in a moment I promise I don't even want the validation I always wanted I just wanna be free I just wanna be me I just wanna be the someone that the people can see Not just some stupid kid I was in my teens Where the trauma in past held me back from dreams I want a space to grow With the people that I know Maybe work on flows Maybe work from home Maybe I'll go pro Maybe so they know What the grinding and the waiting was all there for Maybe I'll never get that Maybe I don't deserve that Maybe I'm so fucked up in the head that I ain't even worth that Maybe my sin I must repent Cuz it takes losing everything just to win I've been out of mind since just a kid To the point where I lost all my common sense and I know These invasive thoughts inside my ear Might cope with it with a pack of beer But resulting to that point is what I fear I will never be influenced by my fucking peers Embedded in my mind That I'm just a basket case Some Henny and the wine I love the after taste Regretted in my life I never felt the same Hiding in the lies For my selfish sake Wonder how my family sees me now Ain't see me then barley see me now Wanna do more then the thought that counts Stress eating all day gain at least 8 pounds Thinking with the rapping I'll streak and slaughter For the past two years I ain't get no farther Dealing with issues from my momma and father Hope I don't pass it to my sons and daughters and I know