Holy Flaming Hammer of Unholy Cosmic Frost

Welcome mighty heroes Into this ancient land A kingdom steeped in legendary splendour From the mighty highlands To the shores of Auchtertool A shining realm of unicorn defenders And in the ancient castle Atop his golden throne The king of Fife rules over His great ancestral home By the holy flaming hammer of unholy cosmic frost We will voyage 'cross the kingdom to reclaim what once was lost In this realm of ancient battles where the king of Fife now reigns I will wield the holy hammer of flame Unholy cosmic frost! In the merchant's district The dwarves of Aberdeen Are forging artefacts of mighty power Meanwhile in the college Where wizards learn their spells A fireball is blasting from a tower Behold the knights of Crail Atop the city walls They swore a mighty oath to say Dundee will never fall! By the holy flaming hammer of unholy cosmic frost We will voyage 'cross the kingdom to reclaim what once was lost In this realm of ancient battles where the king of Fife now reigns I will wield the holy hammer of flame Unholy cosmic frost! Across the infinite void of time and space From a twisted dimension of shattered reality The dying screams of a malevolent sorcerer materialized And terrible were the words they spoke Sanctus! Dominus! Initiating interdimensional subspace relay Incoming transmission Activate Zargothrax Clone Alpha One (Geminus!) (Thaumaturgist rise!) Upgrading nuclear subroutines Powering up anti-telharsic nanobots Assignment: Destroy Dundee! (Duplexus! Maleficus!) (Chaos lord reborn!) By the holy flaming hammer of unholy cosmic frost We will voyage 'cross the kingdom to reclaim what once was lost By the holy flaming hammer of unholy cosmic frost We will voyage 'cross the kingdom to reclaim what once was lost In this realm of ancient battles where the king of Fife now reigns I will wield the holy hammer of flame Unholy cosmic frost! Ten, nine, eight, seven, six Five, four, three, two, one