"Despacito" Parody Unplugged

Why? Fonsi! What's wrong? Oh! Hodor! Hodor is dead! Hodor uh? Me, I like to go to this rock beach and masturbate Ever since this model moved next door She's hot! Me, I love her too, but she only dates younger men Man, I wish I was that little boy This can't be right (just sing) Dude, I always used to get a wicked farmer tan Cut my sleeves, but now my shoulder's burnt real bad And it's impossible to only tan your torso Oh, yeah! This reminds me of my favorite movie Chocolat' You showed up now everyone is hot to trot This block party's about to become a porno' I'm Magneto But I can't move metal, I just fondle people When I touch the air, you'll feel it near your pee hole When I'm president, I will make sleeves illegal Point at people Wouldn't kick you out of bed for eating Cheetos You made sour cream squirt out of my burrito All these men have wood, it's like we're at Home Depot (Stupid, stupid, stupid!) Notice that they never have us in a shot together It's because of the restraining order You make me stiff as C-3PO (That's not cool, those movies are for families) You can steal an old man's hat and take his Gran Torino Just kiss him on the head and then go Hot chicks can just steal from people You got me tumbling like dominoes There's money in this envelope My savings, you can have it all Nervous like Adam Sandler You can rob men blind because we're all a bunch of dumb-dumbs Give you diamonds in the hope that one day we will get some This is also like that movie, "Something About Mary" One of the better films directed by the brothers Farrelly Aren't you impressed by all this mouth and tongue dexterity? My favorite YouTube vid' is of that kid who says "Apparently" Stop, stop, stop, none of these seems right But doesn't "despacito" means slowly? (Mark, you're being very insultive to Ann) (Who took all this time to translate this for you) I am sorry, Ann, I didn't mean to- (This is for a good cause and you are screwing it up) You're right, you're right, you're right Can we just take it back to the despacito part? I-I, I feel like I know that part pretty well (Yeah, sure!) Okay! This mosquito Tried to suck my blood like Señor Draculito Dracula's brother who lives in Puerto Rico When I'm making love, I wimper like a beagle Desperate people Make their living poking fun at famous people I am way too dumb to ever be bilingual I make parodies 'cause I'm a stupid gringo (Stupid, stupid!) Stop! Nobody makes a fool out of me (We're having some fun with you Mark) (But did the comment on the original song or did it not?) It did not-not, yes it did comment on the original song (And did we take the song into a different direction, transforming it even?) Yeah, I guess (And what did we call that?) A parody (And what's Spanish for little parody?) Parodito Wait, its feminine, so is it parodita? I'm just glad we skipped that version that had Bieber This song's good enough, it didn't ever need your Guest star feature!