God's Own Child

I really can't stay (But, Mary it's cold outside) I got to go away (But Mary it's cold outside) This evening has been (And God's having his first kin) So very nice (He thinks your womb will be just right) My mother will start to worry (Beautiful, what's your hurry) You know that I'm only, like, twelve (God's still pretty young himself) But really I'd better scurry (Plus life expectancy is like 30) But he's the all-powerful lord (Put some records on while I pour) The shepard's might think (But baby, you'll birth a king) Say, what's in this drink? (Well that's the whole messiah thing) I wish I knew how (Your eyes are like starlight now) To break the spell (Do what you want, see you in hell) I wanna be a nice young lady (Mind if I plant this baby?) At least I'm gonna say that I tried (We'll harm your hymen from the outside) I really can't stay (Oh, Mary, don't hold out) Oh, but it's God's own child So then Even though Mary was going heavy with someone else God coerced her into having his child As if it was some kind of honor To have to push a baby out of her lady basement Before even getting to take it for a spin God and his fraternity of angel bros Just sat around watching While Mary wandered the desert Like God just hit it and quit it When she was basically ready to pop, She and her main piece Joseph came upon an inn And even the innkeeper was a complete douche Oh I'll be playing the innkeeper now I've got no more room (But Esther, it's cold outside) Say, what's with your groom? (That Joseph, he's cold outside) Gee, I wish I could help (I'll give you five stars on Yelp) But I'm uninsured (I think my water just broke, Miss Girl) I guess you could take the Manger (I'm seriously in Danger) The donkeys will be pissed if you did (Jesus Christ, I'm having a kid) Just lay down some towels (This baby is coming) Oh but it's cold outside (Ew)