Alexander

I've had back pain for most of my life And the most I ever did was see the doc And the doc told me that my back was alright He had initials in his shirt, he had a nice expensive watch I thought he knew what he was doing or at least what was right He made me fill a piece of paper out with different questions all about My health, wellbeing, and the state of my life I told the truth, I'm only lying to myself if I should lie So, I answered everything and did my best to keep it real In between the lines I gave it back to him He took his time and read the paper over once or twice He looked at me as if to say "I need to tell you something And don't prepare for me to tell you something nice" He wanted to know just how much I tend to drink and smoke I told him, how it was and then he gave me this advice He said, "Ease up on stress, you don't help yourself much It's too intense for you to take, you'll only tense up" And you see you have these issues and you struggle to relax" So you come see me the doctor to get something for your back" But this piece of paper tells me that there's more that you should address" I see some anger in you, plus addiction, plus the rest" I feel like we should speak about this for it comes first" And I know a lot of people who can help for what it's worth" I said "I don't know if you understand man my back just fucking hurts" Do I need physiotherapy? Or is this something worse? He paused and then he asked me what I thought we should do I said "If I knew that I wouldn't be here man I'm asking you" He handed me to someone who gave me a blood test Who handed me to someone else Who took my payment and took all of my fucking patience I should add at this point the doctor had already left And I resented that man, I never went back to him again Well you know in a weird way I feel like maybe he was right I may be using my back pain to distract from the pain of life Feel it all externally, when really it's just inside Procrastinating, confrontation, every single time So thank you, Mr. Doctor man I'm now being sincere I guess I just didn't wanna hear what I didn't wanna hear, okay