If I'd Been (feat. Gina Hannuksela)

If I'd been, I'd been If I'd been, I'd been, I'd been okay Then I wouldn't, I wouldn't go this way But we're here today And I feel, I feel, feel so afraid But I shouldn't, I shouldn't Look both ways Just be here today I don't know if I've ever been alright I'm feeling kinda schizo after all Life's an endless fucking shitshow and it's dark You acting like that shit is a walk in the park It's truly sinister to live in there while falling apart Cause I cannot see the trees or the grass Besides the green behind the lines I see while eager to pass I used to feel the grass, listen to unsolicited advice And sit and sink inside my feelings cause I knew I could breathe through that But times change I guess I'm getting through it, cause I know I ain't my best But I hope I'll be someday And look back at these times Being fine with that I'm made like this If I'd been, I'd been, I'd been okay Then I wouldn't, I wouldn't go this way But we're here today And I feel, I feel, feel so afraid But I shouldn't, I shouldn't Look both ways Just be here today I hope to look back and think that I did pretty decent things Maybe later on, I might even feel a thing I don't and oddly I've been in my feelings since I think it's more than just a minor inconvenience I'm breathing in, I try to see it And get a clearer picture of the chaos just to beat it To be honest I still don't know if hip hop helps me with dealing now Or if it's just accelerating what I'm speaking bout If I'd been, I'd been, I'd been okay Then I wouldn't, I wouldn't go this way But we're here today And I feel, I feel, feel so afraid But I shouldn't, I shouldn't Look both ways Just be here today