Oy, The Mistakes I Made

Oy, the mistakes I made I should have spent more time in the shade Kept the curtains closed So the fabrics wouldn't fade Oy the mistakes I made Oy, the money I spent Why'd I have to buy in Boynton For three weeks I could rent Instead I paid the maintenance While cousins came and went Oy, the money I spent I can take an insignificant pain Turn it into a runaway train I keep doing it again and again It just feels so damn good To complain Oy, the days I blew Collecting all that stupid Steuben Why not just a few Maria broke the porcupine The frog and swans too Oy, the days I blew It just feels so damn good To complain Oy, the things I've said Slipped out in conversations Landing like a piece of lead Making any sort of interaction Something that I dread Oy, the things I've said An empty seat for someone to fill in That Linda Rosen seemed so nice and willin' I used a recipe from Calvin Trillin Things were going well till I Tied her up with my tefillin Oy, the mistakes I hope to make If I live a long time That's why I gave up cake Now I'm sprinkling flax seed On a three ounce piece of steak Probably just another mistake I wonder if my flax seed is fake This is why I lay awake Thinking about my mistakes It just feels so damn good To complain